Universities Applications...

These days are kind of worried for my Final year Degree application in UK.
I've applied for onli London Metropolitan, but i dunno is there still January intake courses, Last week i found out that there's no Jan intake for year 2010, but if i'm joining into the final year, as long as 2 yrs ago have jan intake for the course, i'm suppose to be able to join in their final year.== That's wat i worried the most. Good news is, today when i call Karin, the girl who process out application, she said that the London Met representative feedback that the course should be not out yet, and she asked Karin to process our application to her, which mean its all in progress already. I'm kind of happy because it might be turn out to be good. I WISH! So pray harder. =)

In case of this fail, i've planned to aply for a few more uni. I aimed for January intakes and KABOOM...i found no other uni that offer January intake that relate to my course and without Tourism! The onli left is Thames Valley(which i online viewing cant find any sign of January intake) and UCB, University College Birmingham.

Thames Valley, location not bad, in London, but if its intake is all in Sept, I dun c any chance, but if there's January intake, i'll get it though.

And come to UCB, i dun hav a good feeling for this, because this is a private college that supported by the University of Birmingham, its more into skill courses, yes the choices are more, i could even chose Culinary Art Management, but i sumhow dun feel good for this. Its juz like studying in Taylors College, its not bad, but its still a private Uni!

Here back to London Metropolitan University, its a Local University supported by the government with non profit establishment. i still have more feel to THIS!!

Aiks..wat can i do now? Juz close my eyes and pray harder and harder and hope Karin will feedback good news for me very very soon~~~

>,<

a self taken photo

Had stop photoshooting for about 4 months, am really itchy to hav new nice photos..
Cant wait finals to over and there poooh i'll hav lots of shoots!!!
Dear phtogs who wanna do shootings, pls contact me asap b4 my schedule are full..^^

Here 1 of my newest self taken photos. =)

A fine Saturday

This is a fine saturday...
Nowadays i'm kind of speechless have nothing to say, juz gonna post a photo. ^^

my mood

Not gonna write..
This is my mood, how i feel....=)

CURSE!!!!

I'm not a bad girl, although not a too good girl, but i learn to control, i dun curse, i try not to say bad words, i try not to hurt ppl too much, i'm trying hard because i wanna be a good girl..but this time, I MUST CURSE U!!!

I curse you, curse you till u eat wrong food and go in to toilet, i curse you go toilet drop into toilet bowl, i curse you go toilet too much till dehydrated, i curse i curse i curse....And i curse you because u stole the mango mama planted with her full heartedly!!!

I duno who is the 1 who stole the mango from my house, its not fully ripe yet also kena stolen by anoynymous. This is really sad, my parents planted the tree, fertilized it and finally there's fruit and the ppl stole it, i'm damn pissed off, I JUZ WANNA CURSE YOU!!!!!!!!

its 27th of October

Recently i felt very aimless and dreamless. Wat's running around my head is only to achieve a good result in finals and get my application to uk succesfully.

This is kind of bored though, dunno why, juz felt very very very tired..Its like except thinking about finals and uk, i have no more energy for anything else....

Where's my dreams? I dunno, cant see it at the moment because my plan had change, from the day that parents agree to let me go uk, my dreams had change, and from the day i gave up on guys.

I'm not being stress or emo now, i'm juz way too tired...I think i need more rest and more sleep. ^^'

Nothing much happen these days, juz normal usual boring like hell. ==

Hope i'll get back some energy soon...Lots of things needa do..^^


Its the breast cancer weak, this emo picture plus pink which stand for breast cancer awareness, effect not bad huh? Its a old photo though. I'm happy cuz my hair is finally longer. =)

waiyin: The Culinary club + Chef wall event

There's a lil new things happening in college these days.

1st of all is the culinary club that i joined, is having an inauguration dinner tmr, i saw their mis-en place, seem to hav lots of nice food. Whooo i'll be having a nice dinner tmr, will remember to bring camera, hehe.

Chef wall thingy, is part of an activity that will held on the world chef day. World chef day is on the 20th of Oct, as a host college for Chef Association of Malaysia, Taylors hav to join into this celebration day and make it happening. All students are involved, mostly needa fund raising and cook. I actually made my batch involved in the Chef Wall event, which v plan to make the biggest, largest, longest human chain(chefs) in our campus, mayb will extent till mentari area. As making it happening, I'm trying to call in Malaysia Book of Record to check it out, gonna write an email for them, as they mentioned, there's chefs who called and dunno what d, so i needa write in email and check izit the same thing, well, hope i could do sumthing memorable b4 i fly(mayb).

This is basicly wat happen with me nowadays, and still doing the report. Gonna rest more, and think more.

I'm giving myself certain stress, but its the good stress which i use to motivate myself. So its okie. GANBATE WAIYIN!!

P/S: i'm sad whenever he calls me babe. It makes me think of him caller her LOVE. ><

be tough waiyin

waiyin: Getting stronger...WOOOT

hmm, i'm getting stronger, focusing back in studies..WOOOT!!!
Its time to get all my mentally mood back for studies. TOns of revisions to do..And report(on da way). I'm looking sumthing good huuh?

Ohya, I didn't mention this in my blog before. I'm actually applying Uni in UK. January 2010 intake. Its not that a confirm thing for me to go, because i've promised mummy i'll go onli if my fren is going, i wun go alone. My side, mama actually agreed already, its onli my frens there not 100% agree yet, so i'm waiting for them, meanwhile, v'll be applying 1st. Really hope i can go, so it could really make a change in my life.

Once again, I DUN NEED A BOYFRIEND. Guys out there, pls dun chase me jzu because u think i should hav a bf to love and to take care of me! I can be very good with onli myself.

I'm hoping for the good things now.

Shit, not forgetting about today's meeting with all class reps and chefs abou tWORLD CHEFS DAY. Headache thing. Will talk about thing when i feel like to. =P

Well, thats all for today. LOVE MYSELF! (since no 1 will really love me fullheartedly><)

RUN away from EVERYONE

This time. I really wish to run away from everyone.

Dear ppl who're chasing me,
i'm nota good girl. I'm not ready for any relationship and i dun want any commitments. I'm tired of those.

Dear my LONG DISTANCE not commited relationship,
It has been happy 4 months knowing you and keeping contact with u. Glad u did post in our tiny blog. Very very happy, when you first say that you miss me. Way too happy when u were there supporting me for all my ups and downs, especially my competitions. Most memorable is you said u'll hug me tight tight when i reach London Airport, that moment, we actually predicted it sumwhere after 2 yrs, remembered i said i'm afraid of winter, and you said, not to worry, u'll be there to keep me warm. I know, its all sweet talks, I know v've no commitments. I juz felt happy with it. Most valueble memories, is your sms-es from uk, and ur call. Your voice is such full of cares and love. Thanks for all those. I dreamed before of you and me, happy ending. But it seems so far from me now.
I think, you wouldn't realize this so soon, not until 1 day, you realize the little waiyin from malaysia didn't contact you for so long. Den onli you'll start looking in our blog, not finding any clue, and reach this blog, this post. Or mayb, you'll never find out, cuz u dun care. Cuz, you're missing some1 else.
Well, I dun blame, v've no commitments, i remember this.
I blame myself mayb, for not bothering you much in july and august, and when i start realizing how important u are to me, u already hav sum1 else in ur mind.
Its a habit for me of missing you and writing in our blog. I'm giving up that now. Remember i said nomatter how, dun delete the blog? I will not delete it. It'll become my tiny secret memories in the future.
Thanks dear for once stepping into my life.

Dear my frens who judged me but dun understand me,
Well, i was sad when i found out about all these. Wat can i do? i'm not going to explain myself. If u know and undersand me well, u'll know wat happen. AS long as i know wat i'm doing.

Dear myself,
Stop dreaming.

Above are msges to every1 that i care.

All i wanna do, is run away from everyone. I'm really very tired. I juz wanna be alone, thinking alone, listening to music, walking, running....doing all by myself. Frens, i need frens, but, i really wanna be alone. Pls giv me time. I dun want any relationship and commitment. I ONLI NEED FRENS NOW. and time. and myself.

wat type of girl am i?

I used to thought, i'm a strong tough independant girl. I thought i am 1, or atleast, I am 1, infront of my frens.

All the way growing up, i told myself that i hav to be strong and tough, i dun need to depend on any1, i'm independant enough. Most of the time, I am. However, 1 day, i realized, that i'm not a strong tough girl at all. I might be still independant. But, i'm not strong and tough at all.

I dreamed of going oversea alone, and i found, if i hav to go oversea alone, i'll be very panic and might fail to live out myself. I will cry.

I dreamed of being alone all this while, but i realized 1 day, I wish, i really wish ihav sum1 to rely on. I wish i hav sum1 who will understand me, comfort me when i'm sad, support me when i'm having a hard time, kiss me each morning, hold me tight every moment v're together. I, juz know that i need sum1.

Some day when i'm free and start thinking alone, i'll realized, i'm all by myself, not having any1 around me. I'm so so weak, i wanted to cry.

I believe i have lots of personality and attitudes. I'm an actor infront of ppl, even infront of my mirrors. And the worst thing is, i dun even know which character is the real me. I really dunno.

I've stop seeking the so called prince. I believe, i'll never get to meet 1. All i wanna do now is stop seeking, STOP WAITING. i'm tired. And i'll get 1 when the timing is right. It'll eventually happen to be my side when the time is there. So i'm not hoping anymore.

What i want now actually? i DUNNO.